


Marshmallows and Duct Tape

by krazykitkat



Category: Pretender
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-05
Updated: 2011-09-05
Packaged: 2017-10-23 11:01:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/249571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krazykitkat/pseuds/krazykitkat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pink boxers, duct tape, hot chocolate marshmallows optional , SL-27, and Clairol Herbal Essences shampoo - mix them together with Miss Parker and Broots...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Marshmallows and Duct Tape

**Author's Note:**

> TITLE: Marshmallows and Duct Tape  
> RATING: PG-13 (sexual innuendo, stomach churning situation)  
> DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MTM and NBC Television.  
> AUTHOR'S NOTES: Written for "Paint By Items" challenge. 5 items: pink boxers, duct tape, hot chocolate (marshmallows optional), SL-27, and Clairol Herbal Essences shampoo.  
> Written 1999.

"But Miss Parker..." Broots longingly stared at the marshmallows floating in the mug of hot chocolate he held in his hand.

"Now, Broots. SL-27 is clear at the moment. I want to see if I can find anything more on my mother."

"But why do I have to go?"

He met Miss Parker's glare and immediately decided that it would have been a better idea to have stuck his lips together with the roll of duct tape he kept on his desk.

"You are going because I'm telling you."

Broots felt it best to just nod. He set his mug down on the desk and bid it a fond farewell. Rising to his feet, he grabbed the duct tape and turned to find Miss Parker with a raised eyebrow.

"And we need duct tape for?"

"You never know." Broots decided not to try the Star Wars force/duct tape joke. He was hoping to go home to Debbie tonight.

Miss Parker exited the room and he followed, admiring the long legs and superb figure in front of him. He surprised himself when several explicit images involving Miss Parker and duct tape crept unbidden into his mind. _Don't go there_ , he ordered himself, _it's too dangerous_. A knowing smile moved into position on his face, vanishing suddenly as he nearly ran into the object of his fantasy. He noticed they were standing outside one of the entrances to SL-27. And Miss Parker had fixed one of her trademark looks on him, the one that could castrate a bull at ten paces.

"Something amuses you?"

That low, husky, threatening voice just managed to turn him on even more. The danger was enticing, the look feeding his fantasy. _What is up with me?_ He glanced down quickly. _Not that thank god._ But if this continued too much longer he was going to be singing soprano in a heavenly chorus. He swallowed and managed to find his voice, "N...No."

"Well, let's move."

 _And she moves so nicely._ Broots was seriously considering hitting himself in the head but that would draw unwanted attention. _Get a grip! And not on her!_ He didn't know what in hell was going on. Sure he'd been attracted to Miss Parker before, any man who wasn't obviously didn't have a pulse. But never like this. Even the foreboding corridors of SL-27, normally enough to shrivel his gonads, were doing nothing to cool his ardour. A hiss broke into his thoughts.

"Broots!"

He hurried to catch up with her, making sure eye contact was avoided. Just as he reached her and was about to ask what they were going to do, a noise emanated from further down the corridor. In a panicked whisper, he said, "I thought you said no one was down here."

"There wasn't."

"Well, there is now."

Miss Parker turned to him and replied very quietly, "No shit, Sherlock." She grabbed his arm and dragged him in the direction of the noise. As they got closer the sound of running water became distinct.

"They have showers down here?" Broots queried.

Miss Parker just shrugged. Their ears were then assaulted by a groan, not a groan of pain, but one of ecstasy. They were now outside the room that seemed to be the source and with only a moment's hesitation Miss Parker entered. Broots didn't move until his arm was nearly wrenched out of its socket. More groans greeted him as he was pulled into a dark corner, partially hidden by piled boxes, by Miss Parker. From their vantage point they could see partly into a tiled room which looked like a bathroom. On the floor in the entrance were what appeared to be a pair of rose pink silk boxers.

Broots put two and two together and came up with a scenario he really didn't want to know about. Stuck in such close proximity to Miss Parker, the smell of her perfume, the brush of her suit against his arm, the warmth of her thigh pressed against his...the groans reached a fevered pitch, interspersed with a harsh male voice exclaiming "Yes! Yes!" echoing his inner thoughts. Broots bit down hard on his lip trying to keep his body under control. He nearly lost it as the groans ended in a shuddering sigh.

He didn't dare look at the woman beside him, but could sense that her body was rigid. Even though he knew that she had quite a sexual reputation, he wasn't certain whether she was as turned on as he was or just embarrassed. He was seriously considering throwing caution to the wind and indulging in the sweet, soft body next to him. Feeling her pressed against him, their tongues entwined, hands exploring her curves, matching their rhythms, joining their bodies and souls...

Broots was jolted out of his reverie by movement from within the room opposite. A hand reached out and grabbed the pair of boxers, the sound of material on material, a zip being fastened, shoes being put on. Harsh, wheezing breathing and a squeak...of a wheel...oh god...it couldn't be...no that would be too disgusting to even consider...

Broots held his breath as a figure entered the room they were holed up in. A stooped figure...dragging an oxygen tank...all sexual thoughts fled screaming in horror. The woman beside him let out a short gasp. Broots felt like passing out. They froze in place and stared as Raines slowly made his way out into the corridor. There they remained for at least another five minutes, not daring to move. Yet no one else exited and there was no movement or sound coming from the bathroom. After another five minutes Miss Parker stood and stretched and then walked over to the door of the torture chamber. When she realised that Broots still hadn't moved she turned and asked, "You coming?"

 _Not anymore that's for sure!_ He stood and walked over to her, refusing her invitation for him to enter first. Following her in, it was confirmed that the room was a bathroom, with a shower in the left hand corner. A wet towel was draped over the shower rail and a bottle of shampoo sat on a shelf in the shower recess. Gingerly Miss Parker reached in and picked up the bottle, which was covered in suds, with two fingers. Broots looked at the bottle and then at her before uttering, "But he hasn't got any hair."

"Look at the brand, Broots."

It was Clairol Herbal Essences...he was still confused.

"The television ad Broots...a truly organic experience..."

"Oh," was all he could manage to say. _I definitely do not want what he was having._ Broots felt his cheeks going red and looked up to find a smirk on Miss Parker's lips.

She looked at his head and handed the bottle to him saying, "Here. You take it. You haven't got much more hair than him."

As Broots stood there stunned, she turned and walked out. He gathered what was left of his virility and followed her out, back into the corridors. As he watched her from behind he was again assailed by erotic images...Miss Parker...him...duct tape...shampoo...showers...marshmallows...hot chocolate...

Boy, it was going to be a very long afternoon...


End file.
